Keep your beliefs to yourself, woman

How the hell do these ‘Bible Studies’ people get your phone number anyway. And what makes them think it’s ok to call you at 10am on Saturday morning?

Here’s how our conversation went:

Her: Hi. I am X from Bible Studies Something.

Me: Ya.

Her: Do you have a positive outlook on the future?

Me: Yes.

Her: (Surprise!) Ah, ok because with all the wars, world hunger, etc most people are not positive. The Bible says …. *insert bull shit*.

Me: I don’t believe in this fictional book. It’s like a movie.

Her: Oh is that what you think?

Me: Ya.

Her: The Scriptures were written thousands of years ago.

Me: Who wrote them?

Her: Man.

Me: What was man’s hidden agenda when he wrote that?

Her: Why do you think there was hidden agenda?

Me: Because all men have a hidden agenda. The US were almost going to allow intellectual design in biology books. It doesn’t mean Adam and Eve is a proven event, does it?

Her: The Scriptures were written thousands of years ago.

Me: Egyptians wrote stuff thousands of years ago so did the Romans. It doesn’t mean it was true.

Her: The Scriptures predicted events 7,000 years before they happened.

Me: Like what?

Her: The birth of Christ.

Me: The person who ‘decoded’ the Scriptures after the birth of Christ interpreted that.

Her: The Scriptures were written thousands of years ago.

Me: If the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts (That’s Einstein).

Her: The Scriptures were written thousands of years ago.

[Woman, I believe we have entered into a circular argument. Here’s a surprise. That’s what happened when you try to argue fiction.]

Me: Ok, I don’t have time for this.

Believe whatever you want, it’s a free society. However, calling me on a Saturday morning and wanting to change my belief system is a plain invasion of my privacy. Please, keep your beliefs to yourself; I don’t want to be saved. If Heaven is full of people like you, Hell is probably much more fun anyway!